My body was literally attacking itself. It wasn't functioning as it should, again, and it was affecting my ability to care for my daughter. I was angry, I was hurt, I was broken.
In our marriage prep, we'd heard about the stresses of NFP. We'd heard about the difficulties of choosing to abstain during times of fertility rather than choosing a form of birth control. We'd heard that NFP could cause fights and at times resentment. Everything we'd heard about the difficulties of NFP prior to our marriage was in the context of using NFP to avoid having. children (or TTA). Clearly, we weren't using NFP to avoid having children at this point in our marriage. It followed then, that there should be no difficulties caused by using NFP, no stress, no strain on our marriage.
Infertility is not merely a cross. It is an opportunity to witness to the deeper reality that we as married couples do not get to decide how our marriage is lived out. It is a witness to a motherhood and fatherhood that is lived spiritually rather than physically. It is a witness to the fact that fruitfulness is not limited to procreation. Infertility, understood in this way, is a charism. It is a call to live out fruitfulness even in the midst of barrenness.
"You have granted me life and living kindness; and Your care has preserved my spirit." Job 10:12 A few months before our wedding, Nicholas and I sat down and wrote a mission statement for our marriage. We sat down at Ritter's Ice Cream and created a vision for our family and marriage. It remains a … Continue reading Gratitude: The Gift Amidst the Cross