In our marriage prep, we'd heard about the stresses of NFP. We'd heard about the difficulties of choosing to abstain during times of fertility rather than choosing a form of birth control. We'd heard that NFP could cause fights and at times resentment. Everything we'd heard about the difficulties of NFP prior to our marriage was in the context of using NFP to avoid having. children (or TTA). Clearly, we weren't using NFP to avoid having children at this point in our marriage. It followed then, that there should be no difficulties caused by using NFP, no stress, no strain on our marriage.
This is a post written during my pregnancy with Madeleine that I had not gotten a chance to publish. Many of you may know by now that we are expecting our first child. It took 698 miles, over twelve months of blood draws, over twelve months on progesterone and estrogen, nine months of Clomid, two … Continue reading For Nothing is Impossible with God: An Update on Our Journey with Infertility
I was around 13 weeks pregnant when a friend, upon hearing that we were expecting and knowing of our struggles with infertility, looked at me and asked me, "What has your experience of God's faithfulness been throughout this journey?" I stared. My mind was blank. The Lord's faithfulness? The thought had barely crossed my mind. … Continue reading An Experience with Faithfulness
When Nicholas and I decided to be open to children from the beginning of our marriage, we both hoped for the best. I could never have anticipated the heartbreak that has accompanied us on our journey towards having a child. I broke down the night after I took a negative pregnancy test during our fourth … Continue reading A Letter to my Future Children
During lent of last year, I began praying the Servite Rosary. Rather than five decades of Hail Marys, each meditating on a portion of Christ's life, the Servite Rosary has seven septets of Hail Marys, each meditating on a particular sorrow of Mary. I fell in love with the seven sorrows of Mary. I found … Continue reading Entering into the Tomb
It was my first Mother's Day mass after being married. The previous month I had an experience where I was sure I was pregnant. I can't explain this experience, and no test I took that month was positive. But the next cycle did arrive later than usual and with more pain than normal. During the … Continue reading Infertility as Disease: Accepting and Navigating the Medical Side of Infertility
Infertility is not merely a cross. It is an opportunity to witness to the deeper reality that we as married couples do not get to decide how our marriage is lived out. It is a witness to a motherhood and fatherhood that is lived spiritually rather than physically. It is a witness to the fact that fruitfulness is not limited to procreation. Infertility, understood in this way, is a charism. It is a call to live out fruitfulness even in the midst of barrenness.